Theme: It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

It is argued that pupils should be more aware of their local

history

in comparison outside ones due to considering crucially. It is agreed that schoolchildren should completely be taught more about their native country’s background. Analysing both the earning money via knowing local

history

Accept comma addition

history, then

then

and patriotic feelings will highlight

this

Firstly

, If children learn their local

history deeply,

Suggestion

history, deeply

they can earn money because of it.

For example

, in the future, school learners may become workers as

touristic

guides and they can get profit for speech about local

history

during a

touristic

visited by throngs of tourists

touristy

trap. As a reason, mostly, foreign visitors to any country are interested in prehistoric places, monuments of the country. So, they will need a person who knows

local

Suggestion

the local history as well

the local history well

history

well.

Additionally

, not only pupils but

also

mature people need feelings about their homeland during their life span. The erudition of school children on local

history

may be a cause for above. When they study about historical periods of their motherland, after deeper approaching, the data about famous faces, their breakthroughs and work dedicated to the homeland will come

into

Suggestion

. In the aftermath, on encouraging, the hearts of

learners

Suggestion

the learners

will start beating towards patriotism more. In summary, schoolchildren can achieve more relying on knowledge local

history

Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it's

Thus it's

clear that why there is dominance over world

history

of local one. After looking at standing points of the issue, we can aver that school curriculums should include more lessons of a country’s

history

than

world

Suggestion

the world

Submitted by dilfuz.yodgorova on Mon Apr 27 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Theme: It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?