Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Nowadays, travel is becoming popular among
people
where
Correct word choice
who
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
show an interest in exploring other countries'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and attractive places.
While
some
people
claim that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners
should pay extra
charges
to see the historical and
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
attractions, others argue they should treated in the same way
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
local
people
without an extra charge. I totally disagree with the extra payment that
foreigners
should pay
due to
multiple reasons
such
as equality.
This
essay will discuss the merits and provide a conclusion with my opinion.
To begin
with, there are multiple reasons why
people
believe that
foreigners
should not pay extra
charges
.
Firstly
,
tourism
is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a main source of income for the government in many countries.
Therefore
, they need to encourage
people
to visit their
country
, so they can utilize the profit to develop the
country
's infrastructure and enhance the economy.
For instance
, if the tourists
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
their interest in visiting the
country
due to
the extra
charges
, the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economic situation will be badly impacted.
Secondly
, each
country
is looking to spread their culture and heritage to the globe. To do
this
, they need to reduce the cost of the tourist locations, so visitors can afford to visit them and know more about the
country
's history.
Furthermore
, if the
country
increases the fees of the attractive location, visitors will feel that they are treated differently
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
the local
people
.
Accordingly
, they will not feel they are welcome or safe in the
country
, and
this
will have a direct impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
.
For example
, many tourists are cancelling their trips after discovering they have to pay extra
charges
and they are not equally treated as local citizens.
To sum up
,
tourism
has many advantages for the
country
which help in developing it and provide a great source of income, either for the government or for the local
people
due to
multiple
Correct article usage
the multiple
show examples
jobs it creates.
However
, extra fees that the tourists should pay to visit the attractive locations will reduce the number of visitors, which
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
the
country
and their citizens. I profoundly believe that the government should treat the
foreigners
in the same way local
people
are treated and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not expose extra
charges
to ensure they maintain a great income
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
and spread their heritage widely.
Submitted by mythias.whyatt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but could be strengthened with more specific examples and further elaboration in some areas.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. A few transitional phrases might help.
task achievement
Work on minute grammatical and structural inaccuracies to enhance the overall quality of writing.
task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive response to the task with a clear expression of your viewpoint, along with reasons and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are well supported.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: