according to raise population, government have to find alterantive food resource like insects product in order to strike balance betwenn supply and demand while group of people have notion that consuming its is not appropriate for human health and having hazardous effect on environment.
#population #government #alterantive #food #resource #insects #product #strike #balance #betwenn #demand #group #people #notion #health #effect #environment
according to
the rising population, the government have to find alternative Linking Words
food
resources like insect products in order to strike a balance between supply and demand Use synonyms
while
a group of people have the notion that consuming it is not appropriate for human health and has hazardous effects on the environment.
on the one hand, eating Linking Words
insects
bears a quite number of upsides. Use synonyms
firstly
, Linking Words
according to
the latest experts' research, Linking Words
insects
have high value in nutrition like high protein and less saturated fat Use synonyms
hence
consuming Linking Words
insects
become a popular snack and street Use synonyms
food
, especially in the East like China and Korea, Use synonyms
although
these kinds of snacks are not thoroughly agreeable in the West. Linking Words
secondly
, the mass product of Linking Words
insects
leads to an increase in the net price Use synonyms
therefore
all classes of society are able to eat them and provide their basic body needs because of the expense of meat products
surge Linking Words
hence
eating Linking Words
insects
would be the prevailing alternative with affordable prices for meeting needs.
Use synonyms
on the other hand
, insect products have some downsides. Linking Words
firstly
, plants and trees are Linking Words
food
sources for Use synonyms
insects
that produce some gases being able to have detrimental effects on soil and the atmosphere Use synonyms
hence
producing Linking Words
insects
on a large-scale effect on decreasing vegetables and changing weather conditions by producing gases.
Use synonyms
secondly
, producing Linking Words
insects
beyond the control brings about some damage to infrastructure , especially wood and steel.
as outlined above, producing and eating Use synonyms
insects
have different advantages and disadvantages Use synonyms
although
the benefits outweigh the side effects if the government created reliable terms to conserve nature and urban constructure, Linking Words
insects
would be an appropriate and common Use synonyms
food
source in the near future.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay does cover the task requirements by discussing both sides of the issue. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you mentioned the nutritional value of insects and the environmental impact of large-scale insect farming—elaborate on these points with data or studies where possible.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are generally clear, but some sentences need revision for clarity. For example, 'the mass product of insects leads to an increase in the net price therefore all classes of society are able to eat them...' can be rephrased to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Words like 'moreover,' 'however,' and 'for instance' can aid in making your essay flow better.
introduction conclusion present
You've done a good job at providing both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to properly frame your argument.
complete response
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and cover both sides of the argument, which gives a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.