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Band 5

Some people think public library is necessary, however, others believe that the public library is useless. What is your opinion and provide with some relevant examples.

#people #library
Recently there has been much interest in gaining a better understanding of the importance of public libraries in the contemporary world. Some people feel that the
library
 is not worth
anymore
Correct pronoun usage
it anymore
show examples
,
however
, I agree with those who are of the opinion that the
library
 is a crucial part of many society members. In
this
 essay, I will explain the rationale for both viewpoints
as well as
 adduce all the arguments which might support my own belief. Those who espouse the former opinion claim that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
libraries are a waste of public money. The proponents of
this
 view maintain that all the materials
such
 as books, magazines, and newspapers are available online and can be easily accessible via handheld gadgets.
As a result
, many of these
library
 materials are just facilitated for the showcase purpose rather than someone using it and these costs an enormous amount of money. Maybe there is some truth in
this
 claim, and some empirical evidence can be provided to support it.
For instance
, a 2007 study conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 80% of the libraries were closed in the USA because few people used to visit the
library
 and the cost of running them was much higher than maintaining the public transportation.
Nevertheless
, one can argue that there is more to the story than
this
 research tells. Personally, I firmly believe that
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
library
 in a town is a crucial place for many youth in the area.
In other words
, these students use
this
 public service to focus on their studies because they get distracted at home
due to
 technical devices namely TV, computer, and mobile phone. If these younger
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 visit to
library
 for their education, they will be restricted
to use
Change preposition
from using
show examples
 those technical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Hence
, they will be able to focus on their studies. My friend, Tina, is a shining example of
this
. She used to get lower marks in the exam because she used to study at home
while
 other members of her family were watching TV shows. One day, she decided to start leveraging
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
library
, and before she knew it, she improved her academic performance in many subjects. In conclusion,
although
library
 resources may cost the government to maintain,
nonetheless
, I still hold to the opinion that it is a valuable place for many adolescents to focus on their education.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack a clear and strong connection. Ensure that the introduction provides a clear preview of the content, and the conclusion summarizes the main points and provides a final thought.
Task Response
The essay addresses the task, but the development of ideas is not always clear. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and that ideas are developed logically and coherently throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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