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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the pie charts below give information about the world population in 1900 and 2000

the pie charts below give information about the world population in 1900 and 2000
#information #world #population
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The two pie charts illustrate changes in
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 of different areas of the planet between 1900 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the pie charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
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 a tremendous increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 the Earth’s population, most of the growth occurred in developing countries. Asia as a region was the most populated
while
Linking Words
 the smallest number of people lived in
African
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the African
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 continent. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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, the ratio of Asian and European regions declined over the century. Europe’s ratio dropped from 25% to 14%,
while
Linking Words
 Asia declined from 60% to 54%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of people living in Africa more than doubled from 4.5% to 10%,
while
Linking Words
 Latin America’s proportion almost tripled in the same period (from 1900 to 2000). North America’s percentage
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, remained constant at 5% in 1900 and 2000. The Middle East and North Africa, a new category in 2000, represented 6% of
world
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the world
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 population.
Submitted by bammesdilia24 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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