IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many different jobs and occupations in the world
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 there are different fees for Each employee; I mean every
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
worker
show examples
 has a special salary. Film stars, pop musicians or sports Stars are paid too much money because they are famous and have a lot of fans
whom they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
Have made them popular; It is believed that
this
Linking Words
 is a significant factor
to advocate
Change preposition
in advocating
show examples
 that they Deserve what they earn.It is noteworthy that
this
Linking Words
 popularity has an impact on the country's Economy,
although
Linking Words
 it's not clear. There are different aspects which
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should pay attention
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
to while
show examples
 paying
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
;
such
Linking Words
 as the quality of the
work
Use synonyms
 they do, how long
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they
work
Use synonyms
?, the severity of the
work
Use synonyms
 They do and so on.
However
Linking Words
, despite these jobs, there are other jobs
which
Change preposition
for which
show examples
 they are paid a lot Of money for what they do.
For instance
Linking Words
: doctors and teachers (
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 deserve that much Salary),
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
,
architect
Fix the agreement mistake
architects
show examples
 and
....
Replace the punctuation
...
show examples
 In conclusion, each job deserves to be paid based on the quality, quantity and severity of The difficulty;
also
Linking Words
 as I said before, some are paid because of their popularity in the world or A country which affects the country's economy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: