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Band 2

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #people #health #food #neccesary #governments #tax
There are many different jobs and occupations in the world
which
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in which
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 there are different fees for Each employee; I mean every
work
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worker
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 has a special salary. Film stars, pop musicians or sports Stars are paid too much money because they are famous and have a lot of fans
whom they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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Have made them popular; It is believed that
this
 is a significant factor
to advocate
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in advocating
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 that they Deserve what they earn.It is noteworthy that
this
 popularity has an impact on the country's Economy,
although
 it's not clear. There are different aspects which
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should pay attention
while
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to while
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 paying
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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;
such
 as the quality of the
work
 they do, how long
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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they
work
?, the severity of the
work
 They do and so on.
However
, despite these jobs, there are other jobs
which
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for which
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 they are paid a lot Of money for what they do.
For instance
: doctors and teachers (
whom
Change the pronoun
who
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 deserve that much Salary),
businessman
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businessmen
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,
architect
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architects
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 and
....
Replace the punctuation
...
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 In conclusion, each job deserves to be paid based on the quality, quantity and severity of The difficulty;
also
 as I said before, some are paid because of their popularity in the world or A country which affects the country's economy.
Submitted by kimiazaheri80 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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