IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree ?

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are those who maintain that going to watch a
live
 play or a concert is not necessary because they can enjoy the demonstration at home. From my perspective,
this
 is not always true due to the following reasons. On the one hand, it is argued to experience a performance on television because of its convenience. To be more specific, the viewers can have a closer vision than those who are at the stadium or the studio.
Moreover
, by streaming a
live
show
 at home, people can use their remote control to switch between a variety of interesting shows simultaneously so as to decide to best channel to enjoy.
Thus
, it is advantageous for those who want to entertain themselves with no charge required.
On the other hand
, if the audience wants to relish a high-quality performance without being interrupted by some short break adverts, they can go to the scene of the
live
show
, which is pretty beneficial.
To begin
 with, the audience can be in harmony with the others by cheering with full energy and it is going to be an unforgettable and once-in-a-life-time moment.
Furthermore
, attending and paying for the
show
also
 present that you are an avid fan coming to support and
show
 admiration to your idols - they can be singers, actors or sport players. In conclusion,
although
 I am in favour of staying at home watching broadcasting shows, I still align myself with the idea of attending a
live
 performance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: