Some people think that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In the contemporary era, some individuals believe that schools do not provide in depth knowledge to the students about taking care of their
health
. I completely agree with the given notion, relevant reasons to prove
this
fact are discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs with illustrations. One approach is that
although
schools possibly have enough subjects related to science and technology, but they do not introduce
health
related subjects in their curriculum. If we want to educate our students, how to remain healthy, it is necessary to include these subjects in the syllabus.
This
will not only teach them to remain healthy but might
also
help them to attain additional knowledge about the nutritional contents in the food that they consume.
Furthermore
, how could we expect that these educational institutes will teach healthy habits to their pupils when they sell
unhygienic
food in their respective canteens and
this
indeed has been one of the main reason of obesity in children of
such
institutions. Another point to consider is that school management does not include essential practical classes
such
as yoga and meditation. If we want our youth to be active and physically fit,
then
these classes can possibly play a decisive role in the overall development of the juvenile. To exemplify, a recent research carried out by an eminent psychiatrist Andrew James at Columbia University revealed that students who had yoga classes in their schools were more physically fit than the students who never attended
such
classes, despite
this
, he
also
mentioned that
such
individuals are more prone to disease as well.
Moreover
, regular exercise can improve cardiovascular activities of the individuals. All the above discussed assertions, let to the conclusion that, school management must prioritise
health
education and
therefore
include them in the curriculum in order to teach
health
benefits to the students and society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health education
  • Curriculum
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Hygiene
  • Practical skills
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Long-term benefits
  • Reduced healthcare costs
  • Academic performance
  • Well-being
  • Comprehensive health programs
  • Positive outcomes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: