The number of old people is increasing. Some think this will cause problems for countries while others believe old people still have value. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is commonly considered by many that the increasing number of elderly

people

Use synonyms

is becoming a burden for the

government

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whereas

Linking Words

others tend to oppose

this

Linking Words

idea and believe that old

people

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has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

wide knowledge and experience, which could be used to tackle modern

problems

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This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both points of

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

before reaching

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

conclusion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, those who opine that

increase

Correct article usage

the increase

show examples

in senior citizens has led

various

Change preposition

to various

show examples

problems

Use synonyms

for countries can easily point out the cost of elderly welfare programmes.

That is

Linking Words

to say,

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has to support its elderly

people

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by taking care of their basic necessities

such

Linking Words

as food, clothing and shelter.

Additionally

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has to provide financial assistance for the medical treatment of its

people

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This

Linking Words

is definitely a burden for the

government

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as old

people

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are not contributing towards the economic growth of a country in any way.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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believe that old

people

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still have wide knowledge and experience, that could be used by youngsters to resolve their

problems

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, the elderly,

people

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can be considered as

Change the article

the

show examples

best

advisor

Fix the agreement mistake

advisors

show examples

because they offer the best guidance by considering all the consequences of a specific problem.

For instance

Linking Words

, I remember when I was in grade five and I had a fight with my friend

due to

Linking Words

her bad behaviour, my grandfather was the one, who resolved our issue by teaching both of us the true value of friendship.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I believe the elderly

people

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should not be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a burden by the

government

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as they

also

Linking Words

have contributed towards the national economy by paying taxes

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

young age.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should use the knowledge and experience of elderly

people

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to solve

real world

Add a hyphen

real-world

show examples

problems

Use synonyms

Tue Apr 28 2020

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Task Response

Ensure a clear and consistent stance throughout the essay. Consider using stronger topic sentences to introduce each body paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed. Work on linking ideas more effectively between paragraphs for better coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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The number of old people is increasing. Some think this will cause problems for countries while others believe old people still have value. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

The internet has revolutionized communication and access to information. However, some argue that its negative impacts such as isolation and the spread of misinformation, outweigh its benefits. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your own opinion.

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after this and education what are the advantageous and disadvantage?