The number of old people is increasing. Some think this will cause problems for countries while others believe old people still have value. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is commonly considered by many that the increasing number of elderly
people
is becoming a burden for the government
, whereas
others tend to oppose this
idea and believe that old people
has
wide knowledge and experience, which could be used to tackle modern Change the verb form
have
problems
. This
essay will discuss both points of views
before reaching Fix the agreement mistake
view
at
Remove the preposition
apply
the
conclusion.
Correct article usage
a
To begin
with, those who opine that increase
in senior citizens has led Correct article usage
the increase
various
Change preposition
to various
problems
for countries can easily point out the cost of elderly welfare programmes. That is
to say, government
has to support its elderly Add an article
the government
people
by taking care of their basic necessities such
as food, clothing and shelter. Additionally
, government
has to provide financial assistance for the medical treatment of its Add an article
the government
people
. This
is definitely a burden for the government
as old people
are not contributing towards the economic growth of a country in any way.
On the other hand
, some people
believe that old people
still have wide knowledge and experience, that could be used by youngsters to resolve their problems
. In other words
, the elderly, people
can be considered as a
best Change the article
the
advisor
because they offer the best guidance by considering all the consequences of a specific problem. Fix the agreement mistake
advisors
For instance
, I remember when I was in grade five and I had a fight with my friend due to
her bad behaviour, my grandfather was the one, who resolved our issue by teaching both of us the true value of friendship.
To conclude
, I believe the elderly people
should not be considered as
a burden by the Change preposition
apply
government
as they also
have contributed towards the national economy by paying taxes in
Change preposition
at
their
young age. Change the word
a
Moreover
, the government
should use the knowledge and experience of elderly people
to solve real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
problems
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Task Response
Ensure a clear and consistent stance throughout the essay. Consider using stronger topic sentences to introduce each body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed. Work on linking ideas more effectively between paragraphs for better coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?