IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays
people
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 all over the world are living longer than usual, which leads to an increase in the ageing
population
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. Some argue that it burdens the
government
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 with pension costs,
whereas
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 others argue that their experience and knowledge may benefit the younger
population
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. In my opinion, it comes with its own merits and demerits. One of the primary advantages of having ageing
people
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 is that the younger
people
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 can benefit from their expertise and wisdom. Older generations have existed in
this
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 world for longer periods of time, they may have gained more knowledge throughout
this
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 period and experienced all kinds of situations.
Thus
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,
this
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 knowledge and exposure can be used to solve problems that they have already been through, which means they are likely to know the solution
..
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.
...
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For instance
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, when an employee is stuck with any problem in an IT firm, they tend to go to their senior employee for the solution because they might have come across
this
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 problem in their tenure,which
is allowing
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allows
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 them to provide solutions easily. An increased ageing
population
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 may burden the
government
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 with pensions and healthcare. As
people
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 grow old their health will decline making them physically inactive and unemployed.
This
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 places a financial strain on the
government
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 providing money to them in the form of pensions.
Furthermore
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, it is forced to take care of expenses related to their health problems. In conclusion, as humans are living longer than usual the ageing
population
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 is increasing, which has both benefits and drawbacks
such
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 as, negatively impacting the
government
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 budget.
In contrast
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, their expertise and wisdom can be useful for younger generations.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stay focused on that idea throughout.
task achievement
Expand on the advantages and disadvantages to provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
Include a range of examples and explanations to enhance the clarity and relevance of your points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and recognizes both sides of the argument, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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