A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that a country is more attractive and expanding faster when it consists in different

culture

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Although

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some people might have an opposite view because the conflict and misunderstanding between local and foreign

culture

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. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that we can benefit from mixing various

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culture

Suggestion

cultures

. There are several benefits that we might gain from mixing

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culture

Accept comma addition

culture, such

such

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as stimulating ideas, experiencing different

culture

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and having foreign friends.

Firstly

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, mixing different

culture

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help stimulate ideas from different aspects and perspectives. It is interested to hear opinions from other nationalities.

Secondly

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, it is

also

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very interesting to experience

culture

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from other countries.

For example

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, cousins or restaurants from different nations enrich a country’s taste and broaden citizens’ horizons.

Lastly

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, a mixture of population

also

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provides opportunities for language exchange.

In other words

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, it is easier to approach or have foreign friends when we open the boundaries between countries and cities. The population mixes with different

culture

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also

Linking Words

help develop a country and boost its economy. From a country’s aspect, different races not only bring in their own

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culture but

Accept comma addition

culture, but

also

Linking Words

open unique shops, which create job opportunities and boost a country’s economy. When the cultural differences come to the society, blending

culture

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and obtaining knowledge from different cultural background can help improve our nation’s developing.

For instance

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, journalists from different nationalities could provide useful or fair opinions on their reports.

As a result

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, it pushes the community to move or think forward by using various perspectives. In conclusion, it is clear that a population mixture is important for a country’s development and attraction. No matter it is discussed from an individual to the society, the advantages are enormous and obvious,

hence

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, I completely agree with embracing

different

Suggestion

different cultures

a different culture

culture

Use synonyms

vipk41

Apr 29, 2020

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
economic growth
tolerance
perspectives
innovation
vibrant
tourism
international businesses
knowledge exchange
effective solutions

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