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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that the exploration of space justifies a large amount of government and private investment. Other people think that this field is of increasingly low relevance, and should not be a priority. Debate both sides of this discussion, and explain your own view. How important is it for us to explore space at the moment?

#people #exploration #space #amount #government #investment #field #relevance #priority #debate #discussion #moment
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It is true that the question of whether to explore
space
 is a great deal of
money
 investment. There are some valid arguments on both sides which I will discuss below and I strongly believe that the exploration of
space
 is a waste of valuable resources
due to
 several reasons. On the one hand, many people still continue the exploration of
space
due to
 its own merits.
Firstly
, it is obvious that
this
 field will make an incredible development of human civilization.
This
 survey helps people understand deeper about the scientific background, especially flight and gravity which contribute the highest finance over others.
Secondly
, our planet nowadays has faced
with
Change preposition
apply
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the destruction of the environment over the past few years, so exploring
space
 for a new planet may be inevitable.
In addition
, because of the food lacking or environmental damage,
this
 investigation would be supported by some people.
On the other hand
, I still believe that
this
 research is a waste of resources.
To begin
 with, too much funding was spent
for
Change preposition
on
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this
 project so the government will not care much about developing infrastructure for citizen’s demands. To make
this
 point clear, the government announces
for
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apply
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taking
money
 to develop our country’s facilities but does it work effectively?
Besides
, a vast amount of
money
 is required for those projects with no guarantee of success, so it will be wise to spend it on improving the healthcare system and education as well.
Furthermore
,
instead
 of trying to find
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other living planets, they may take that
money
 to improve the environment, create more friendly advanced technologies, and provide renewable energy. In conclusion, the exploration of
space
 may be valuable in some ways,
however
, I still have a preference for spending that
money
 on
this
 recent daily life to enhance human qualified standard
Submitted by amusetour14 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are clearly defined and supported by specific examples to strengthen your argument and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks to one relevant idea or argument to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Consider further developing the points on the advantages of space exploration to balance and enhance the depth of discussion.
task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples or statistics to illustrate your points, especially when discussing the costs and benefits.
overall comment
You present both sides of the argument clearly and provide your own viewpoint effectively.
overall comment
The essay has a strong introduction that sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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