The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people causes of the strength care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more fun and exercise in schools. In my opinion, I completely agree that

this

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is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public fitness in relation to weight.

Firstly

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, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term approach and introducing the more sport and exercise in schools.

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method will ensure that the

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generation will be healthier and will not have

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energy problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does fun, possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their

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sedentary lifestyle.

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, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum as well as encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for children in schools will probably result in children developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a longer lasting effect.

In other words

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, parents with sporty children are more likely to get involved in athletics as a way of encouraging their children. By both parents and children being involved, it will ensure that children grow up to incorporate fun into their daily lives.

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is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public well-being. To sum up, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing the game in schools is the easiest and most effective method to use.

Submitted by mikemichael1909 on Wed Apr 29 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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