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Writing Samples
Band 5

Several language are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that government should spend money on saving them, while, others think that it is waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#language #danger #extinction #people #government #money #waste
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In line with the shift in time, various areas, with different languages are spread all around the world. A number of languages are neglected because of
small
Suggestion
the small population
a small population
small populations
population
Use synonyms
 of local
habitants
the type of environment in which an organism or group normally lives or occurs
habitats
. Some people believe that
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 should allocate a proportion of
annually budget
Suggestion
the annual budget
annual budget
 to preserve these
languages, while,
Suggestion
languages, while
 some others disagree.
Personally I
Accept comma addition
Personally, I
 hold the perception that surviving these languages might result in transition of industrial and agricultural knowledge of local habitants of relevant areas.
Firstly
Linking Words
 a number of people think that spending a proportion of
annually budget
Suggestion
the annual budget
annual budget
 on surviving mother tongue language
of
Suggestion
in
 areas with small
population
Use synonyms
 is wasting
money
Use synonyms
, because of
likelihood
Suggestion
the likelihood
 of
extinction
Use synonyms
 their generation,
in contrast
Linking Words
, others think allocation enough
money
Use synonyms
 to retain mythology and history of these areas. A group of people think that a fundamental condition of continuing a generation is a large
population
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they think generations with small
population
Use synonyms
 are in danger of
extinction
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, any cost for surviving their languages is wasting
money
Use synonyms
 and should be spent for other purposes.
In
Linking Words
contrast others
Accept comma addition
contrast, others
 think that a numerous historical and mythological resources which are written in negligible languages had not been discovered yet during excavation. If these languages get extinct, nobody will be able to translate the
further
Linking Words
 mentioned historical information on resources which will be discovered later.
Thus
Linking Words
, that’s why some people think that because of
likelihood
Suggestion
the likelihood
 of
extinction
Use synonyms
 of small communities, spending
money
Use synonyms
 for saving the local languages is wasting
money
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others believe
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 purpose to sustain historical property.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I hold the perception that
government
Use synonyms
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on negligible languages in order to make an atmosphere to transit the industrial and agricultural science of their relevant local habitants to other people. As everybody has seen, some areas, even with
small
Suggestion
a small population
population
Use synonyms
, have wonderful agricultural lands and some specific industries or tourist attractions. People of other countries whenever want to get specialist on industry
of
Suggestion
in
 these areas or do travelling to these lands, it is better to get familiar with their languages which helps them to transit industrial knowledge to themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my friends who had
traveled
traveled over or through; sometimes used as a combining term
travelled
 to a very small city in
Africa which
Accept comma addition
Africa, which
 had a developed
handicrafts
Suggestion
handicraft
 workshop told me that if she had known African language I would have learnt from them how to establish a workshop in Iran. In sum up, some people believe that
government
Use synonyms
 should not focus on negligible languages, because the danger of
extinction
Use synonyms
 the relevant generation, while, others believe that for
translation
Suggestion
the translation
 of discovered history resources in the
next
Linking Words
 decades,
government
Use synonyms
 should concentrate on the local language
of
Suggestion
on
 areas with
small
Suggestion
small populations
a small population
population
Use synonyms
. I think that interest of some people in communicating with local habitants of areas with
small
Suggestion
small populations
a small population
population
Use synonyms
 to learn about their
specialties
Suggestion
, their languages should be preserved.
Submitted by mr.safary2014 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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