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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004 5

The graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004 5
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The graph shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of commuters using
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London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Underground, the national
rail
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network
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 and the light
rail
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 and metro systems in Great Britain from 1950 to 2004/5.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of passenger
journeys
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 made on the three systems increased, but on
London
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Underground
Add a comma
,Underground
show examples
 it increased dramatically. The most striking figure was that one billion
journeys
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 were made a year on the national
rail
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network
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 in the 1950s. At that time, the
London
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 Underground was carrying around 750
million
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 passengers and they fell to 500
million
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 in 1980 compared to 600
million
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 on the national
rail
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network
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. From the beginning of the 1980s, the
number
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 of passenger
journeys
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 on all three main ways of transport rose rapidly. The
number
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 of passengers on
Use synonyms
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Underground and the national
rail
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network
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 very similar throughout the remaining period, rising to approximately 1.1 billion in 2004/5. The period ended with the national railway slightly higher than the starting point and
London
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 Underground in
second
Linking Words
 place with just under 1 billion passengers and light and metro
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
third
Linking Words
 place with approximately 200
million
Use synonyms
 passenger
journeys
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, london, rail, network, journeys, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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