Society is becoming obsessed with material goods like fast cars,designer clothes and flashy jewellery.We have stopped caring about the important things that is why divorce rates are so high and family bonds are not as strong anymore;our system is disintegrating.

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Sometimes it seems that all of

society

Use synonyms

cares only for material good and image.They forget about the things that really

matters

Accept comma addition

matters, such

such

Linking Words

as having a family or good friends. People in the

society

Use synonyms

are getting disinterested in the crucial problems of their life and in the

society

Use synonyms

, focusing only on achieving a better life in monetary terms.

This

Linking Words

ignorance can lead the entire mankind towards a state of indifference.

Firstly

Linking Words

Accept space

people focus more and

more only

Accept comma addition

more, only

on working a lot of hours so they can afford

expansive

high in price or charging high prices

expensive

things.

This

Linking Words

can lead to an unhealthy family and a stressful life.These

days many

Accept comma addition

days, many

children

stay

Suggestion

are staying

with their grandparents and away from their families because their parents spend much of their time working.Some parents think that buying expensive items

such

Linking Words

as computers

Accept space

clothes or even toys will compensate the less

hour

Suggestion

hours

they spend with the love ones.Many people are getting a divorce because of the hours they spend working and do not take into consideration that their children are psychical hurt.

Secondly

Linking Words

Accept space

the rate of divorce rose dramatically over the past few years because of stress.People become very irritable or even depressed because they do not have enough money so they end up arguing with the one they love.Many believe that having material goods will replace the need for family or love. They are obsessed to keep up with the Joneses so people do not realize that they neglect their friends. To sum up

Accept space

I do believe that our

society

Use synonyms

is focused

Suggestion

focuses

on buying material goods and they forget about the

important

Suggestion

most important

things any more and our

whle

including all components without exception; being one unit or constituting the full amount or extent or duration; complete

whole

value system is disintegrating.

Wed Apr 29 2020

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Society is becoming obsessed with material goods like fast cars,designer clothes and flashy jewellery.We have stopped caring about the important things that is why divorce rates are so high and family bonds are not as strong anymore;our system is disintegrating.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others believe that zoos are beneficial for the conservation of endangered species. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?