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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #don’t
Sports play an indispensable role in our lives and professional sportsmen become heroes for many people, especially teenagers. They would like to imitate the way these stars dress, act and live their lives.
Although
 many top athletes are good role models and responsible citizens, others are not deserving of their role model status. On the one hand, professional athletes are excellent inspirational people who prefer to watch sports or engage in sport-related activities.
This
 can be elucidated by the fact that individuals admire their sportsmen whose characters help them to learn about valuable life lessons
such
 as teamwork, goal setting, the reality of dealing with success and failure.
Moreover
, these personalities can make them understand the importance of working hard to achieve a goal or practicing regularly to become good at something. It can be said that
this
 is a great example for the youth to follow their idol.
However
, it is undeniable that a few great athletes can make adolescents misunderstand about the sportsmanship.
For example
, many top sportsmen reached a level of fame which make them attract media attention or social attention, or even earn large financial benefits.
As a result
, teenagers love sports because they focus on the fame and wealth rather than on the fun of the games or on the challenge of learning how to play well.
In addition
, some sportsmen behave badly, including some cheat to win their competitors or taking drugs to improve their performance. Eventually,
this
 kind of behaviour can send wrong messages to children. With all above arguments, I think that young people can make an attempt to catch all good figures of their favourite
sportsmen but
Accept comma addition
sportsmen, but
 they should not try to repeat all of
their
objective case of they
them
 idols’ lives because every professor has good and bad characters. All of people can agree that there is no an ideal person in the world.
Submitted by minnguyen1792004 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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