Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work

Life expectancy rate

Suggestion

The life expectancy rate

has been raising all over the globe.

This

is due to

healthy

Suggestion

health

and higher standards of living. It has started an argument between government officials that the old

age

people should be allowed to

work

even after retirement. I agree with

this

matter but

Accept comma addition

matter, but

till some extend. We are living in

this

day and

age

that technology is used

every where

to or in any or all places

everywhere

, Almost

ever

Accept comma addition

ever, job

job

or skill requires someone to use technology to get the

job

done. Old

age

people have less patience and energy to use these technology till full efficiency. They might take time to understand the new way of working, which can cause the employer time and money.

This

can cause the elderly to get frustrated and behave very unprofessionally.

Furthermore

, most jobs

requires

Suggestion

require

workers to

work

efficiently and quickly as

possible due

Accept comma addition

possible, due

to companies to need to meet consumer demand in time. In these conditions old

age

people are not suitable to

work

and get retired early.

However there

Accept comma addition

However, there

are many instances where educated, skilled and experienced workers are needed. Old

age

people have great experience to serve their country as a doctor and a teacher. These people

in particular

have skills and knowledge that a fresh graduate can not obtain quickly. Due to the following reasons why government should extend the retirement

age

for these people.

Lastly after

Accept comma addition

Lastly, after

people get retired, they get bored really easily and they tend to loose purpose in their life To put it together, I think the government should allow old people to continue

there

of them or themselves

their

work

and provide subsidy

job

programs to give purpose in their lives.. As their

job

was a major part of their

lives

Suggestion

life

Thu Apr 30 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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