Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Life expectancy rate
Suggestion
The life expectancy rate
has been raising all over the globe.
This
is due to
healthy
Suggestion
health
and higher standards of living. It has started an argument between government officials that the old
age
people should be allowed to
work
even after retirement. I agree with
this
matter but
Accept comma addition
matter, but
till some extend. We are living in
this
day and
age
that technology is used
every where
to or in any or all places
everywhere
, Almost
ever
Accept comma addition
ever, job
job
or skill requires someone to use technology to get the
job
done. Old
age
people have less patience and energy to use these technology till full efficiency. They might take time to understand the new way of working, which can cause the employer time and money.
This
can cause the elderly to get frustrated and behave very unprofessionally.
Furthermore
, most jobs
requires
Suggestion
require
workers to
work
efficiently and quickly as
possible due
Accept comma addition
possible, due
to companies to need to meet consumer demand in time. In these conditions old
age
people are not suitable to
work
and get retired early.
However there
Accept comma addition
However, there
are many instances where educated, skilled and experienced workers are needed. Old
age
people have great experience to serve their country as a doctor and a teacher. These people
in particular
have skills and knowledge that a fresh graduate can not obtain quickly. Due to the following reasons why government should extend the retirement
age
for these people.
Lastly after
Accept comma addition
Lastly, after
people get retired, they get bored really easily and they tend to loose purpose in their life To put it together, I think the government should allow old people to continue
there
of them or themselves
their
work
and provide subsidy
job
programs to give purpose in their lives.. As their
job
was a major part of their
lives
Suggestion
life
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: