IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF SOCIAL PROBLEMS AND POVERTY, OTHERS THINK THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF BAD PERSON’S NATURE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #crime #poverty #person’s #nature
It is argued that social problems and poverty cause
crime
 while others think that
crime
 is related to one's personality. In my opinion, bad situations that people face encourage them to turn to
crime
,
also
 nature could be a reason. I will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, some people think that poorness encourages people to turn to
crime
 in order to pay bills and meet family responsibilities. In order words, unemployment can lead people to
crime
 due to financial pressure and
also
 lack of structure in their daily lives. To exemplify
this
, a research by the World Bank found that there is an increasing
crime
 rate in countries which have low employment like Mexico. Apparently, there is a close relationship between involving in
crime
 and unemployment.
In addition
, young people can easily turn to
crime
 from peer pressure and lack of parental guidance.
On the other hand
, some people suppose the thing that push people to
crime
 is their personality.
In other words
, people get involved in it because of their bad personality traits. It is known that some people turn to
crime
 because of the image of the power and courage which they associated with it.
For instance
, a study by a newspaper found that some thieves steal because they want to revenge, attract attention and to test their courage.
Finally
, in my opinion, one of the most important causes of
crime
 is poorness. Personality has very little contribution to it. People don't take a risk to go to jail because of their quest for adventure. They need to have true reasons like trying to afford family needs. These reasons encourage them to
offence
Suggestion
offend
. It is government responsibility that offer its citizens employment, so that people could live in prosperity without getting involved in misbehave. To sum up, nobody turns to violation unless there is a reason
such
 as poorness. Character identity has very little proportion of it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: