IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF SOCIAL PROBLEMS AND POVERTY, OTHERS THINK THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF BAD PERSON’S NATURE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #crime #poverty #person’s #nature
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It is argued that social problems and poverty cause
crime
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 while others think that
crime
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 is related to one's personality. In my opinion, bad situations that people face encourage them to turn to
crime
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,
also
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 nature could be a reason. I will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, some people think that poorness encourages people to turn to
crime
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 in order to pay bills and meet family responsibilities. In order words, unemployment can lead people to
crime
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 due to financial pressure and
also
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 lack of structure in their daily lives. To exemplify
this
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, a research by the World Bank found that there is an increasing
crime
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 rate in countries which have low employment like Mexico. Apparently, there is a close relationship between involving in
crime
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 and unemployment.
In addition
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, young people can easily turn to
crime
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 from peer pressure and lack of parental guidance.
On the other hand
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, some people suppose the thing that push people to
crime
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 is their personality.
In other words
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, people get involved in it because of their bad personality traits. It is known that some people turn to
crime
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 because of the image of the power and courage which they associated with it.
For instance
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, a study by a newspaper found that some thieves steal because they want to revenge, attract attention and to test their courage.
Finally
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, in my opinion, one of the most important causes of
crime
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 is poorness. Personality has very little contribution to it. People don't take a risk to go to jail because of their quest for adventure. They need to have true reasons like trying to afford family needs. These reasons encourage them to
offence
Suggestion
offend
. It is government responsibility that offer its citizens employment, so that people could live in prosperity without getting involved in misbehave. To sum up, nobody turns to violation unless there is a reason
such
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 as poorness. Character identity has very little proportion of it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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