IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Credit card make people to indebted. Does the advantage of credit card outweigh their drawbacks.

#credit #card #people #advantage
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Nowadays
people
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 cannot imagine their lives without
credit
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cards
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, which makes them financially obligated.
This
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 essay will demonstrate how
credit
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cards
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 make
people
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's lives much easier,
however
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, spending more beyond their means will have negative effects on their
credit
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scores
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. On the one hand, using a
credit
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card
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 can definitely make life easier.
People
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 can use
credit
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cards
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 as a payment method, which gives them cash back for future purchases.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 use a
credit
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card
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 correctly,
then
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 they build high
credit
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scores
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 as customers. Like
this
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people
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 have a good opportunity to best rates on things
such
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 as mortgages, auto or personal loans in the future.
For example
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, in the USA home sales companies prefer buyers with higher
credit
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scores
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instead
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 of solvent customers.
As a result
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, they prevent a problem with payment during the mortgage.
On the other hand
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, using a
credit
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card
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 incorrectly contributes to some problems for holders. Usually,
people
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 spend more money on
credit
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cards
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 beyond their budget.
Also
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, they need to pay some fees if they carry a balance month to month.
Hence
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, spending too much on their
card
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 or missing a payment can negatively affect their
credit
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scores
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.
For instance
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, recent research concluded that Americans' total
credit
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card
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 debt increases every year, which means more and more
people
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 destroy their
credit
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scores
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 and remain in debt. In conclusion, there is a view that
people
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 who use
credit
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cards
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 are financially dependent.
People
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 should follow requirements how using a
credit
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card
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 correctly because
people
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 face some problems as lower
credit
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scores
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 and additional fees.
However
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,
credit
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card
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 holders can great chance to build high
credit
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scores
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 and earn cash back as a bonus.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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task achievement
Your response adequately addresses the task but could benefit from a bit more depth. Ensure that all main points are fully developed with specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your sentence structure and use linking words more naturally. Improving the flow between ideas will enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthen your arguments.
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