Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #developments #lives #control

While

some

people

think that technology is tightly controlling our lives, others argue that there are many

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apply

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positive developments of technical devices. In my opinion, I totally agree that humankind has given plenty of conveniences from technology. On the one hand,

people

are lacking

Wrong verb form

lack

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physical activities to do work in comparison with manual work in the past,

this

situation is responsible for unhealthy lifestyles.

For example

, some

people

just need to stay

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one place to do many jobs at the same time

such

as watching a video on

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

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simultaneously with sending messages on Facebook and booking a meal on a food application. These things lead to obesity,

cardiovascular

Correct word choice

and cardiovascular

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and

bones

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bone

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problems.

Furthermore

people

are being exposed to private information by hackers on social media.

For instance

, a bank account ID of someone could be stolen and used for negative purposes.

On the other hand

, the human has got plenty of conveniences from technical devices. Thanks to social media,

people

can improve their lives on many issues.

For example

people

can get in touch easily and save time effectively with modern

programmes

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programs

show examples

such

as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Moreover

with

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apply

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new inventions

such

space ships

Correct your spelling

spaceships

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, computers and smart devices,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are supporting

the

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apply

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

to discover more about our universe and explain mysterious natural phenomena or do our work effectively. In conclusion,

although

technology has some negative impacts, I believe that human beings have already received a large amount of usefulness from

this

to expand our knowledge.

In addition

, we should apply them wisely and effectively in the future.

Fri May 01 2020

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task response

Improve your task response by addressing both views with a balanced argument. Ensure that your essay fully responds to the prompt and includes relevant examples for each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion. Develop a clearer structure and make sure your ideas are logically organized. Additionally, use cohesive devices to connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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