IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and have enabled them to both works and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages of a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#household #appliances #time #women #works #home #children #mother
Owing to the new invention in technologies, women's life has been made easier by reducing their task.
Thus
Suggestion
This
 made them possible to balance between personal and professional life.
This
 certainly benefits their family financially by improving their economic status.
However
, in my opinion, working women face a lot of struggle with managing family and work.
This
 essay will provide arguments to support my views. To start with, it is an undeniable fact that technology has made women expand their horizons and look out the real world.
For instance
, earlier women used to spend their whole time performing household chores;
however
, with the introduction of new appliances,
this
 point has been reduced to half.
This
 has given them extra space to take up some job and support their family financially. With increasing inflation, it is essential for both the parents to earn that could provide a better lifestyle for their children.
Moreover
, working mothers are more updated, which benefits their children to rise in
this
 competitive era.
On the other hand
,
this
 trend possesses some negative effects on children's growth. As both of their parents are working, they isolate themselves and hesitate to share their feelings openly.
Also
, children get freedom in excess to do whatever they want, which could result in inculcating bad habits.
Furthermore
, after working for long hours in the industry, the activeness of women compromised while increasing fatigue and tiredness. Unfortunately, the additional burden takes a toll on her health and happiness. To conclude, there is no doubt that the economic status of a family improves when women work.
However
, there are certain issues that hamper the progress of the child and the bonding of the family.
Thus
, the cons overweigh the pros, as developing a healthy mind is more important than being wealthy.
Submitted by poojamistry1815 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!