The maps show the changes of a community center 10 years ago and until the present

The maps show the changes of a community center 10 years ago and until the present
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two maps show alterations in the layout of a community centre after 10 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the community centre has been significantly reconstructed and renovated after ten years,
while
Linking Words
some minor features witnessed no change. In the central part of
this
Linking Words
building, the 100-seat hall, which accounts for the biggest field, remains unchanged over the ten-year period. A toilet has been added to its north, making the adjacent storage room shrink by half. To the west of
this
Linking Words
Center, the garden has been demolished to make way for an indoor sports facility,
whereas
Linking Words
the parking lot stays intact. Looking at the map in more detail, four office rooms and the storage room have been replaced with a coffee space.
While
Linking Words
the working operation has been relocated to the original spot of the coffee place, the storage room has been completely demolished.
Finally
Linking Words
, the southern entrance and reception space and the kitchen on the southeast of the building are kept untouched.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: