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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
Due to
risen number
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the risen number
a risen number
 of
fatty
Suggestion
fat
 people
,
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,
health
 care system is under pressure to tackle with
relatable
 diseases.
However many
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However, many
 people recommended to add more physical activities in
school schedule
Suggestion
the school schedule
school schedules
. I literally agree with
this
 statement because it
allow
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allows
 students to have healthy
body
 as well as
healthy
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healthy minds
a healthy mind
mind
.
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.
 So
this
essy
an analytic or interpretive literary composition
essay
 will discuss these effects in
upcoming paragraphs
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the upcoming paragraphs
.
To begin
 with
,
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,
by introducing physical education in schools
,
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,
students
get
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gets
 good physique. During
school
 age
,
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,
children have ability to accept and apply it with ease. Owing to
this
,
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,
their
body
get
Suggestion
gets
 addicted to
good habit
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the good habit
good habits
 of exercising daily causing cutting excessive fat in their
body
.
Consequently
, they start gaining
positve
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positive
 confidence towards life.
Such
 as in Finland
,
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,
around 14 percent obesity related issues have been solved after applying
this
 strategy seriously in
school
,
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,
according to WHO. Another positive result can be achieved is
healthy
Suggestion
a healthy mind
mind
.
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.
 Participating regularly in physical work not only improve
health
 from
outside but
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outside, but
also
 have great influence on
student's
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a student's mind
the student's mind
student's minds
mind
such
 as increase concentration level
.
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.
This
 in turn
lead
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leads
 them getting high grades
.
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.
Moreover having
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Moreover, having
 good control
on
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of
mind
 tend to not let them eating junk food which could be
long term solution
Suggestion
the long term solution
a long term solution
long term solutions
 of common obesity related diseases like heart attack
.
Accept space
.
 According to 2o13 survey conducted by
health department
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the health department
health departments
 in Copenhagen
,
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,
the
school
pass
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passes
 out students were more
health
 conscious with
good mindset
Suggestion
a good mindset
 in comparison to people in other fields which lack of involvement in regular based exercises. Overall, it can be concluded that giving more time to exercise during schooling can be
consider
Suggestion
considered
 as best method according to some people and
also
 release pressure over
health department
Suggestion
the health department
 to solve diseases resulting by stoutness
.
Accept space
.
 I
also
 believe that providing
health
 education during secondary education lead children in getting sound
body
 and
mind
 which allow them having
positive attitude
Suggestion
a positive attitude
 toward
healthy lifestyle
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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