Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The
government
has applied security systems, which have increased considerably over the years. Some argue that governmental authorities should have information
on people
's historic calls cellphones and messages for safety reasons. While
other commentators assert that privacy data should be available only if they ask for it. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument with my opinion in the end.
Fighting the high rates of crimes has been too difficult these days. Criminals make a huge of crimes and technology is becoming a tool to do so. For instance
, they plan to commit illegal or immoral activities like robbery and kidnapping using mobile phones making calls or sending messages to their partners. So, if the government
had the communication records of a criminal organization, authorities would act in advance because they discover the following steps of their plans.
Nevertheless
, governmental authorities should request the information
from people
in order to continue their investigations. For instance
, people
who manage relevant information
like businessmen or bankers could be affected if government
take their data. As a consequence
, the information
could be released or filtered to other institutions which can use it as they want. In the end, the government
is responsible for requesting all the records following a suitable protocol.
To conclude
, although
criminals are increasing over the years using technology could be an advantage to them. Some governments can manage people
's data records and they can fight against criminals with this
. In my view, the government
should request the relevant information
without sniffing throughout our database.Submitted by jolo9419jmor on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to strengthen the flow between ideas. For example, use more connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the other hand.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your ideas more convincing and thorough.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay is free from small grammatical errors, as this will improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
Address counterarguments more directly to show a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are addressed, and the writer's opinion is provided at the end.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!