In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage for young people who decide to do this.

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In the contemporary era, an education is mandatory for making absolute bright future. Some people argue that children are influenced towards job after secondary education,
although
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according to some people, they must
travel
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before starting University education. While both approaches have their own pros and cons,
this
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essay will emphasise both views in following paragraphs. To commence with, children are acquiring many ascendancy by
work
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.
First
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and foremost, they are getting an importance of wage. By
work
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, they are given more time to
work
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and do the hard
work
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,
therefore
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they acknowledge how to earn a
money
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.
Besides
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this
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,
although
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by attending trip, they can collect
information
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about historical places. Not only access
information
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, but
also
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they make their career by collecting
information
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as a tour guide.
For example
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, over 35% of people in India, where they had been earned
money
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by the tour guide. Alternatively, there are some drawbacks. Children cannot concentrate on study, because being materialistic mind through which they are thirsting towards earn a
money
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.
Consequently
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, they are not being made, their bright future.
On the other hand
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, by trip, teenagers can face some difficult tragedy, because some time cases like accident and so on occur and
as a result
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, they can face difficulty.
For instance
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, according to Mumbai University, 7% of people had faced a handicap problem by
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travel
Suggestion
the travel
travelling
. Henceforth to conclude, children can understand the value of a
money
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and by
travel
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, they can gather
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information of
Accept comma addition
information, of
history, whilst they cannot focus on study and they faced some serious tragedy by
travel
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Hemal on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadened horizons
  • valuable life experiences
  • personal growth and development
  • engaging with different cultures
  • overcoming challenges
  • acquiring new skills
  • maturity
  • self-awareness
  • work experience
  • employment prospects
  • academic momentum
  • re-adjust
  • study habits
  • academic performance
  • financial aspect
  • pursuing certain activities
  • financial strain
  • university tuition
  • living expenses
  • perceived delay
  • inadequacy
  • anxiety
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