IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Please complete the personal statement IN YOUR OWN WORDS. You must submit the personal statement in English in the space provided below. Describe, in no more than 500 words, your reasons for applying for your chosen course of study and the ways in which you expect your study experience to make a difference to your life and those around you.

#english #space #course #study #difference #life
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I have been interested in art and
design
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 since I was a child.
However
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, here in Taiwan, if you can be an engineer or a doctor, you are encouraged to be one, and I am no exception. During my high school years, I was influenced by my peers, starting to change my
career
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 path to engineering. In 2016, I selected mechanical engineering as my major. It didn’t take me much
time
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 to realize that I was not good at the discipline I had chosen. Not knowing what I am capable of doing, nor do I know what I like, I could not be more lost and frustrated. Luckily, by the end of the semester, there was a
design
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 workshop drew my attention. Out of curiosity I signed it up. During the speech and activities, I felt something that I didn’t have while I studied engineering. It was the
first
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time
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 that I felt the passion lay within my heart. In the following semester I selected a course related to
design
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. As I dived down deeper it became apparent that
Use synonyms
design
Suggestion
the design
 is the field that I am good at.
However
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, I struggled. Setting my
career
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 in
design
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 implies giving up the stable income and a smooth
career
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 path which staying in engineering guarantees. There is a voice inside telling me that I am supposed to follow my heart, but there are
also
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 many people think
this
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 is an absurd act. The two forces inside were tearing me apart, and under
this
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 situation my course performance only got worse. One day, it dawned on me that only if I do the things I like can I optimize my
career
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 development.
As a result
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, I signed up for our school
design
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 program to help me broaden my horizon.
Although
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 studying engineering is difficult for me, I consider it as a challenge and a complementary support for my
design
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.
Besides
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 learning through courses, combining what I had learned, I designed new products and joined in competitions. To challenge myself, I became a teaching assistant tutoring students in
design
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. As a freelance graphic designer, I designed the logo and packaging for a foreign coffee shop. Still, even with all these experiences, it is still not enough for me. I want to test the limits and break through. Attending graduate school is a perfect opportunity to help me integrate all my skills better. It took me a long
time
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 to get myself prepared. To have my own portfolio, new products had to be designed, and there are so many
design
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 tools that I had to be familiar with. After two years of preparation,
last
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 Christmas I submitted my application. I can still remember the day I received the admission letter from California College of the Art. I woke up and check my smartphone as usual, and there was a notification popped up. For the
first
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time
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 in my college years, I was
finally
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 relieved.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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