IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort on it themselves. Why it is so and what can be done about it?

Pure
Correct article usage
A pure
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 is necessary to stay healthy so most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
to save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 is very important, but they do not do assiduity to protect it themselves as they do not the cause but it should be done by taking some steps.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 try to make
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 better.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not know they themselves are the main cause of environmental damage because they do not know by their daily activities they harm the
environment
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the uses
show examples
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 of cars and other vehicles more and more
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
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 pollution in
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they do not think enough about it because they are living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
luxurious
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 like everyone
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 air
conditioner
Fix the agreement mistake
conditioners
show examples
 to protect themselves from heat but they do not think that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
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 they feel
hot
Correct article usage
a hot
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environment
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is a global
problem
Use synonyms
 and they can not do anything to solve it only government action can solve it. Some
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 can be taken which help
people
Use synonyms
, what can harm the
environment
Use synonyms
 and what they can do. First of all, awareness
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 should be spread among
people
Use synonyms
 and should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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educate
Change the form of the verb
educating
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 about, how
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
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 can damage
so
Correct pronoun usage
it so
show examples
, they do not use
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
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 which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 it.
Then
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to think
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to regarding
Change preposition
about
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this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 like they have to think about
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 generation.
In addition
Linking Words
, some strict rules and regulations should be made by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and action should
be take
Change the verb form
be taken
be taking
show examples
 if anyone
try
Change the verb form
tries
show examples
 to damage the
environment
Use synonyms
 by breaking the rules.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 world should be united to take appropriate measures for
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 like
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 an organization which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 all instruction related to
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 want to protect
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 but they do not know what can be done so, they should be aware by educating them and by taking individual responsibility
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 can be solved.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer and simpler sentences to explain your ideas. This way, your points will be easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly show how each point connects to your main idea. This helps the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each point. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by stating your main point directly. Also, ensure your conclusion summarizes your main ideas well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and discusses the main reasons people don't protect the environment.
task achievement
You introduced possible solutions to the problem, which shows you understand the topic well.
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