IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing in comparison to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that a downward trend in the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate is observed because of sophisticated technology which can preclude and solve crimes. The essay agrees with the provided idea finding modern equipment quite successful in
crime
Use synonyms
 investigations
due to
Linking Words
 simplifying procedures.  In comparison to the past, fewer amount of people commit crimes.
That is
Linking Words
 the result of the development in different fields of our lives; the presence of modern technology has been affecting society mostly in a positive way. The availability of various types of cameras, alarms
as well as
Linking Words
 security systems acts as a deterrent and enhances the community's well-being.
In other words
Linking Words
, if a century ago it was common to see acts of theft or vandalism outside, nowadays it is nearly impossible to notice them in public places.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, these technologies prevent crimes that can be committed by potential criminals.
For instance
Linking Words
, after the installation of CCTV cameras on both central and marginal sides of Barcelona in 2017, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate has decreased by 46%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, modern tools are very effective not only in
crime
Use synonyms
 prevention but
also
Linking Words
 in criminal investigations. The existing variety of expertise, tests and techniques saves much time which is crucial in criminal justice.
In addition
Linking Words
, it minimizes the chances of the miscarriage of justice and ensures that all circumstances of the
crime
Use synonyms
 will be taken into consideration in order to pass a fair verdict.
For example
Linking Words
, after police started to actively use DNA tests and footprints in Connecticut in the
last
Linking Words
 40 years, the number of appeals has been decreasing each year by 2025 relying on the credibility of outcomes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate has
also
Linking Words
 decreased in the USA, which justifies how powerful these innovations are. In conclusion, the essay completely agrees that the declining amount of
crime
Use synonyms
 is connected to the new technologies that are actively engaged in the process of
crime
Use synonyms
 investigation.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement. While it is implied, making it more explicit can strengthen your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to vary sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
coherence and cohesion
Link your second paragraph more clearly to the first by drawing explicit connections between the deterrent effects of technology and the ability to solve crimes, thereby enhancing the logical flow.
task achievement
Strong examples provided to support your arguments, especially regarding the impact of CCTV and DNA testing.
coherence and cohesion
Clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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