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Writing Samples
Band 7

Children are experiencing the increasing educational, social and commercial pressure. What are the cause? What means do you think can be taken to reduce them?

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Introduction
Nowadays,
education
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 and money are distant entities. But with rapid globalization, schools started facing stiff competition from their peers to provide a far better
quality
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 of higher
education
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. Like any
quality
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 service in the market costs more money, so does better
quality
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education
Use synonyms
. So is
education
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 too privatized today?
Body paragraph 1
First
Linking Words
 of all, the government provides many advantages to the private sector in order to encourage it, by the exemption of taxes and the contribution in building the
education
Use synonyms
 institution.
However
Linking Words
 the state is often faced with budgetary constraints and are unable to provide enough funds to schools for the purpose of equitable
education
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.
Thus
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, brought about an increase in the share of public financing. To illustrate, since 2008 more than 300 public schools in metropolitan as Casablanca, Tangier, Fes, has closed due to the lack of financing.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, private
school
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 promotes a good
quality
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 of
education
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 to attract more and more parents.By more facilities and advanced technology like (podcast, loudspeakers, tablets, computers, playing field….) Which are not available in the public
school
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, that makes parents want for their children an
education
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 better from that offered in public schools.
For example
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, a study show that over than 70% of children are enrolled in the private
school
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 in urban cities.
Body paragraph 3
Thirdly
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, private schools promise brighter students, indeed student is given a special attention and guidance by teachers. And
also
Linking Words
 by the continual evaluation in order to uplift student weaknesses.
In addition
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, private institution my contains only 20 students, which makes them learn in a captivating atmosphere in spite of their peers in public schools that may exceed 44 students. A study by Harvard University found that private
school
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 students averaged higher than their public
school
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 counterparts on standardized tests in 11 of 12 comparisons of students.
Conclusion
To conclude, the
education
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 has become too commercialized to the non-performance of the public educational system and the meet of educational objectives by private schools, and while privatization has opened up the possibility of participation in
education
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 do you believe that student opportunities will be equally fair?

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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