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Band 7.5

Students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

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Financial
management
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 is a crucial life skill that every individual needs to develop.
However
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, nowadays many high school
students
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 graduate without knowing how to manage their finances effectively.
This
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 essay will examine the causes of
this
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 issue and propose several practical solutions to address it. The lack of financial literacy among
students
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 stems from several factors.
Firstly
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, financial education is not included in the curriculum because other subjects
such
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 as mathematics, literature, and science take priority, leaving no time allocation for financial topics. Another key factor is the lack of guidance from
parents
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 regarding money
management
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, as many
parents
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 themselves were never taught these skills, creating a continuous cycle.
Furthermore
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, since graduating
students
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 have not yet taken financial responsibility for their expenses, they tend to make impulse purchases without considering the consequences. Several effective measures can be implemented to address
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, schools should introduce basic concepts of financial literacy through simple programs or activities.
This
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 would help
students
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 develop awareness of financial matters, which is essential for their future.
Additionally
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,
parents
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 should attend workshops to improve their own financial
management
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 skills and
then
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 pass on knowledge to their children through daily activities.
For example
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,
parents
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 can give pocket money to children for completing household chores and encourage saving habits by helping them set financial goals. In conclusion,
while
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 financial
management
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 skills are essential, many graduates struggle with money
management
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due to
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 insufficient education from both
parents
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 and schools.
However
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,
this
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 problem can be overcome through practical initiatives from educational institutions and families working together.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of the paragraph more explicitly to improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments, especially in the solutions section, to enhance the relevance and depth of your arguments.
coherence
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both causes and solutions, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies the problem and suggests meaningful solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
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