IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security. Other people think one should find a permanent job.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
In
this
 modern world,
peolpe
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 are more worried about their
job
beacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
 with the increasing population
,
Accept space
,
 they get
fewer
Suggestion
little
less
 chance to get good jobs.Some masses say that
job
 satisfactory plays vital role in every employee's life rather than
job
 safety.One the other hand individuals claim that it is more beneficial to search a fixed
job
.I will discuss both views in the forthcoming paragraph and give my point of view. To commence with, there are many people who
wants
Suggestion
want
job according
Accept comma addition
job, according
 to their requirements. Masses give more
prefrence
a strong liking
preference
preferences
 to those
job
Suggestion
jobs
 which give them more
relxation
(physiology) the gradual lengthening of inactive muscle or muscle fibers
relaxation
relation
 to their mind due to
this
 reason people can enjoy their
work
 more.Individuals will be more active when people have no extra burden of their
work
,
Accept space
,
they can easily do complete their
work
 without any stress.In
addtion
a component that is added to something to improve it
addition
,
Accept space
,
people are more willing to do hard
work
 and give their full time to complete their goals.
Moreover
, when people enjoy their they are always ready to do any
work
 to
boast
increase
boost
 the status of their company.
However
,
Accept space
,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of people say that it is better to find a long-lasting
job
.If people have stable
job
 they are less worried about their future.What is more
,
Accept space
,
having a fixed
job
 means have a fixed salary and they can easily set their expenditure with
this
montly
of or occurring or payable every month
monthly
 payment.As well as
,
Accept space
,
people can do their
work
 without any worry
beacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they have no any fear of loss their
job
. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
believes
 that having a good
job
 is very
benefiacial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 for everyone.
Job
satisifaction
the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need, or expectation
satisfaction
 is crucial for both fixed and temporary
job
Suggestion
jobs
beacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
 when people are not happy with their
work
, they cannot do their with
constraction
the act of constructing something
construction
.
Submitted by ravvsidhu456 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: