IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience.

#people #entertainers #scientists #support
Our world in 21th century is developed by many scientists and artists.
Although
, It is undeniable that some people may think artist are less important than the scientist. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement.
Furthermore
, I think both are essential for us in equal, described in the following paragraph. It is apparent that nowadays technology becomes a significant part of our life. Scientists have created many technology and devices to make our life more convenient. Many helpful devices are not just beneficial, but it can be used as a decorated things in our house.
However
, the scientists are expert in their field. Thereby, we need artist to design it to look more perfect. 
On the contrary
, there are a lot of problems and uncomfortable things that make people feel stressed. When they want to relief their stress they need someone to entertain them in many kinds.
For example
, watching the comedy movie to decrease the depression. Many people
also
 love to do art and draw to entertain themselves. Though, some people love to listen or play a music. To conclude, I respectively disagree with the statement because our world needs balance between arts and sciences.
This
 is why entertainer and scientist is equally important.
Submitted by phunisa.kun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: