"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly said that today’s children
are pressurized
Suggestion
was pressurized
were pressurized
as were yesterday’s adults. That’s true in the sense that children are facing harder and harder academic, social and commercial challenges. It
is happening
Suggestion
happens
simply because of the ever increasing demands of life, from the same perspectives,
on
Suggestion
in
to
with
humans in general. While it is important that children excel in their age to become successful as adults, they must be shielded from the mounting pressure by maintaining a balance between material and psychological growth. As the global village becomes more and more competitive
everyday
Suggestion
every day
, it becomes important for us to prepare for the fight, so to speak, earlier and earlier.
This
is realized by all, which triggers societies to push their juveniles during their learning stage. The other thing
that
is contributing
Suggestion
has contributed
to
this
ever rising pressure on children is the lack institutional opportunities, especially in developing countries. Now, more than ever, children are having to race each other for reaching the privilege of higher education. While healthy competition is helpful for the psycho-social development of young ones, it is rather unhealthy when the race becomes more prominent than the objective. Of course the objective of children competing against each other ideally is
brining
the act of delivering or distributing something (as goods or mail)
bringing
the best out of themselves. But, very frequently, a child is compelled to compete for becoming better than the other.
In other words
, the competition becomes a brawl rather than being a sprint. To stop
such
spiteful struggle among our young, we must
first
establish a sense of camaraderie within all our developmental institutions,
such
as schools and colleges. Students must contest for academic betterment, not social supremacy.
Also
, parents should get proactively involved in promoting sportsmanship among learners. They must not allow vile aggressiveness and their own
vengefulness
in the lives of their children. To sustain
such
social reformation the government must establish ample alternatives to the traditional route to success. The conclusion here is simple. The children today are being put into a ‘survival-of-the-fittest’ situation much earlier than they must be when they should really be trying to do their best.
Such
untimely loss of innocence is only going to make civilization more antagonistic. The
Submitted by anjanasona20 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: