Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In contemporary society, there is a prevailing opinion that the current generation is more
self-centered
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self-centred
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and driven by greed, focusing solely on personal well-being. Some suggest that adopting traditional values,
such
as collective growth and respect for all, can lead to a better world.
This
essay will explore both perspectives before concluding with a personal opinion. In today’s fast-paced world, competition is intense and opportunities are limited, leading to a more individualistic approach. Many people live in nuclear families and prioritize their own success, often because they must meet the high cost of living. The rising prices of commodities force individuals to work multiple jobs, leaving little time or resources to help others.
This
focus on self-preservation can appear selfish, but it is often a necessary survival strategy.
For example
, in India, there are only 185,000 government jobs available, yet 1.8 million people apply. If everyone tried to help each other secure these jobs, it would likely reduce their own chances of success, demonstrating that sometimes individualism is necessary in a competitive environment.
Conversely
, previous generations were more
community
-oriented, often living in joint families where mutual
support
was a norm.
This
upbringing fostered a sense of responsibility and respect for others. In
such
setups, it was natural to share resources and
support
each other's growth, creating a cohesive and supportive environment.
For instance
, in Chettiar communities, wealthy individuals built free colleges and hospitals to ensure that everyone had access to education and healthcare, which in turn improved the
community
's
overall
well-being.
This
collective approach to growth and development is a valuable lesson from the past. In my opinion, neither viewpoint is entirely right or wrong. The present generation faces unique challenges that necessitate a focus on self-reliance and personal success.
However
,
this
does not mean that traditional values should be completely abandoned. A balanced approach that integrates individualism with
community
support
can lead to a more harmonious society. Policies that encourage social welfare, education, and
community
development can help bridge the gap between these two perspectives. In conclusion,
while
modern society often emphasizes individualism
due to
economic pressures and competition, traditional values of
community
support
and respect remain important. By finding a balance between these approaches, we can create a world where individuals thrive not only for personal gain but
also
for the collective good.
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task achievement
Ensure all examples are as concrete and detailed as possible, linking them directly to your argument to strengthen your points. For instance, provide more detailed statistics or real-world examples.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay is well-structured, work on improving transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas further.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear context and effectively outlines both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and maintains a logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
The points made are generally clear and well-explained, and your conclusion effectively brings together the main arguments.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern society
  • traditional values
  • familial bonds
  • community ties
  • collective well-being
  • individual gain
  • responsibility
  • care for others
  • neglect
  • isolation
  • honesty
  • respect
  • cooperation
  • individual greed
  • ethical conduct
  • social cohesion
  • crime rates
  • mental health
  • general happiness
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