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Band 5

Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #cell #phones #children
While a significant number of parents hold the view that exposure of
smartphone
Suggestion
smart phone
 is causing damage in children’s lives, others
however
 disapprove of
this
 thought. In my opinion, nowadays mobile phones are a great source of online education and it helps children learning new skills in their free
time
. One of the harmful effect of mobile phones tends to be, children spending
considerable amount
Suggestion
a considerable amount
 of
time
 on social media and chatting applications. To illustrate
this
 point, every child in present days is seen to be engaged on apps
such
 as
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
 and
whatsapp
 using cell phones during most of their
time
. Due to
this
, children start living in a digital life without engaging in interactions with people face to face.
On the other hand
, smart phones play
vitally important role
Suggestion
a vitally important role
vitally important roles
 in children’s education.
In other words
, children are able to educate themselves with the help of digitally launched teaching applications
.
Accept space
.
For example
,
vedantu
 has been awarded as “app of the year award” for its simplified methods to explain difficult subjects as mathematics and science. These applications provide customized classes to the age of children as well as live interactions with teachers.
Furthermore
, mobile phones can
also
 be used to learn new hobbies
such
 as music, photography or cooking, thereby letting children utilizing their leisure
time
 productively. Another important feature of mobile phones is that it makes sure the safety of children. Parents can be sure of the safety of their children just by calling them and vice-versa,
thus
, cell phones eradicates constant worrying of parents. In conclusion, despite some parents, think owning
mobile phone
Suggestion
a mobile phone
 is deleterious for children; in my
view there
Accept comma addition
view, there
 are numerous benefits of possessing a mobile phone in
children
Suggestion
children's
 lives.
Submitted by mdhillon54238 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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