Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #cell #phones #children

While a significant number of parents hold the view that exposure of

smartphone

Suggestion

smart phone

is causing damage in children’s lives, others

however

disapprove of

this

thought. In my opinion, nowadays mobile phones are a great source of online education and it helps children learning new skills in their free

time

. One of the harmful effect of mobile phones tends to be, children spending

considerable amount

Suggestion

a considerable amount

time

on social media and chatting applications. To illustrate

this

point, every child in present days is seen to be engaged on apps

such

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

and

using cell phones during most of their

time

. Due to

this

, children start living in a digital life without engaging in interactions with people face to face.

On the other hand

, smart phones play

vitally important role

Suggestion

a vitally important role

vitally important roles

in children’s education.

In other words

, children are able to educate themselves with the help of digitally launched teaching applications

Accept space

For example

vedantu

has been awarded as “app of the year award” for its simplified methods to explain difficult subjects as mathematics and science. These applications provide customized classes to the age of children as well as live interactions with teachers.

Furthermore

, mobile phones can

also

be used to learn new hobbies

such

as music, photography or cooking, thereby letting children utilizing their leisure

time

productively. Another important feature of mobile phones is that it makes sure the safety of children. Parents can be sure of the safety of their children just by calling them and vice-versa,

thus

, cell phones eradicates constant worrying of parents. In conclusion, despite some parents, think owning

mobile phone

Suggestion

a mobile phone

is deleterious for children; in my

view there

Accept comma addition

view, there

are numerous benefits of possessing a mobile phone in

children

Suggestion

children's

lives.

Submitted by mdhillon54238 on Sun May 03 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and measures could be taken to solve it?

the most important aim of the science should be to improve peoples lives.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?