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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do certain unpaid work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prisoners #work #bars
Some individuals feel that convicts should not be punished by putting them in jails rather than they should be made to do some community
work
 for the betterment of society. In my opinion, jailbirds should do some community
work
instead
 of sitting idle in jail with other criminals.
This
 essay will discuss the importance of voluntary
work
 among criminals and elaborate why it should be divided based on the nature of
crime
. On the one hand, convicts should be given the opportunity to improve their behaviour and mind-set considerably.
This
 could be done if they are made to do voluntary
work
,
such
 as helping poor ones by supplying essential resources, working as a disability support worker and so on.
As a result
, convicts will deter to commit any
crime
 in the future because a criminal commits a
crime
 due to his resented mindset that has been for a number of years.
Therefore
, community
work
 will help them to ameliorate their behaviour by working among needy people and they will be inclined to think in a positive way.
For instance
, a March 2018 study by Monash University found that prisoners, who were given the opportunity to
work
 as a volunteer were freed from the jail within 6 months of time due to their good character.
Although
 voluntary
work
 can improve the
prisoners
Suggestion
prisoners'
prisoner's
 anti-social behaviour, it needs to take into account the extremeness of
crime
, most notably. Crimes,
such
 as murder, rape, sexual assault are of extreme in nature and letting convicts to be in public and engage with others can have serious catastrophic effects.
Therefore
, according to the Criminal Psychologists, convicts who are juvenile or commits
crime
Suggestion
a crime
crimes
the crime
 that are not extreme should be given the opportunity to
work
 on a voluntary basis. In conclusion, looking at my vantage point criminals should be given a chance to
work
 as a volunteer depending on the nature of
crime
 as
this
 will not create a threat among individuals or society as a whole.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • incarceration
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • community service
  • work ethics
  • exploitation
  • decongest
  • taxpayer
  • correctional facility
  • unpaid labor
  • safety concerns
  • constructive activity
  • underlying issues
  • restorative justice
What to do next:
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