IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People today general have better lives than people in the past did. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives
Most of the people think nowadays people’s
life
 generally better compared to the past. In my opinion, I strongly believe that people’s
life
 positions are far more upper than ancient time, there are num
ber of
Suggestion
a number
 impacts which have influenced.
Firstly
, there have been num
ber of
Suggestion
a number
 positive changes happened which have been all
eviate cu
Suggestion
alleviated
rrent peo
ple li
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
ves. Nowadays number of scientific sectors has
greatly evolved.
Suggestion
have greatly evolved
For example
, development of medical science and new innovations which guaranteed people’s wholesome as well as wel
lbeing. N
Suggestion
well being
ow people using direct treatment for all ailments
such
 as medicine, penciling and aspirin.
Fur
thermore people ar
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, people
e living peace world which gives ple
thora of
Suggestion
a plethora
 opportunity for con
venient
Suggestion
the convenient life position
life
 position. In the past people had dedicated whole
life
 for war and mil
itary army,
Accept comma addition
military, army
in contrast
 now people spend that time for
le
Suggestion
to
arn something as a worthwhile.
Secondly
, in the early 17th century aspect of discrimination was playing vit
al role.
Suggestion
a vital role
vital roles
The
refore women an
Accept comma addition
Therefore, women
d African American people had not any authority, only had one option for
wo
Suggestion
to
rk as a slave.
How
ever those da
Accept comma addition
However, those
ys are gone, in rec
ent decade’s sense of
Suggestion
the recent decade’s sense
 equality has dom
inating ma
Suggestion
dominated
nkind
life
. No matter for skin col
or, g
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
ender, nationality and rel
igious, a
Suggestion
religion
ll have to consume equal rights. United State’s 44th president Brack Obama have proven that aspect of racist was over because he was
first
 African American president. Equality makes more assessable for all people
life
 compared to the past. To recapitulate, It is indisputable fact that current people living far more convenient position compared to the past. Thanks for development of medical science as well as equal rights. These stuffs made better current people’s
life
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
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