IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
It is often argued that
success
 is frequently associated with richness or a higher financial status. Personally, I think it is not the main part of
success
,
although
 there are several factors that define or make people pro
sperious.
in fortunate circumstances financially; moderately rich
prosperous
     Regarding the wealth as the best indicator of
success
, the overwhelming majority of people probably consider a
success
 in accordance with the financial stability and they do not take into account that
per
son co
Suggestion
the person
a person
people
uld inherit the wealth and status of their successful ancestor. As an illustrative exa
mple can be
Accept comma addition
example, can
 dynasties in which the affluence was inherited by several generations.
Therefore
, cannot be compared due to the presence of several factors,
such
 as health conditions, knowledge and dream career that make a
person
 successful in life.  
Hence
, money is not an ultimate goal of every
person
.    The
success
 is explained by a number of other factors, apart from wealth.
Firstly
, good relationship with family members and friends. Respect and support fro
m th
Suggestion
for
em is motivate
person
 to chase the goals and keep focused on them. Along with
this
, dream work is
also
 indicative of
success
, which gives delightful feeling in life.
in
ad
Suggestion
In
dition to these facts, 
also
 have good health is a good combination to consider 
per
son as
Suggestion
the person
a person
people
 a successful one.
Finally
, people whose private life and work are balanced, they are happier than the rich individuals, who surely have money to buy anything in the world, but lack peace of mind.    Overall, it is sensible to conclude that here is variety ways to consider a
person
’s achievement. Wealth is not the effective way to measure
success
 as there are many other factors like a good relationship with people, health and dream job that make a
person
 successful.
Submitted by sula_.97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: