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Band 7

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, CHILDREN ARE GIVEN MORE FREEDOM THAN IN THE PAST. IS THIS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

#parts #world #children #freedom #development
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In these developing world, western culture is accessed by not only youngsters but
also
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 children. Because of
this
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, the parent gives more sovereignty to their child than the yesteryears and I believe
this
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 liberty has demerits rather than merits outcomes. Both aspects are elucidated in upcoming text with relevant examples. The
first
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 and foremost drawback of
this
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 development is a juvenile crime rate increase by leaps and bounds. By watching criminal and offensive games and TV programmes, teenagers have conducted more crime since
last
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 few decades. Recent survey is published by Indian Crime department reveals that more than 40 % of law breached by under eighteen years people. The other influence is watching and cheating the geriatric public. Senior citizens are the pride of our nation, we have to give respect, but highly indulge of modern culture, they refuse to do.
Additionally
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, addiction of technological instruments makes them introvert and socially isolated. Their thoughts and behaviour become more virtual than ever.
For example
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, In our social gathering, children do not participate in any competition and the reason is that they feel shy in front of other people and even avoid attending
such
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 meetings.
Moreover
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, they cannot identify any of our distant relatives that traits and manners may isolate them from society.
However
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, the distinct quality of child come out cause of
this
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 free ambience. In explanation, nowadays, most of the children are developing holistically by participating in different peer group activities like sport tournament, quiz competition, etc. In past time, the peculiarity of the child was manipulated by parent rigid behaviour, but
this
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 improvement nurtured parents too. By agglomerating above all points we can conclude that there are several benefits of these developments, but the drawbacks of its are not avoidable at all.
Submitted by Riken Patel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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