IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

1. Health services are the basic necessity for a person. Private companies have made the health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

#health #services #necessity #person #companies #individuals #care
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These days many people feel that good health and well-being is essential to all people and
therefore
healthcare
 services should not be run by privately owned companies, whose main objective is to make profit. Personally, while I do agree with
this
 statement, I
also
 believe that private
healthcare
 services do have many advantages.
Firstly
, public hospitals in most countries are usually overcrowded and underfunded, which can put a lot of pressure on doctors, nursing staff and patients to recover quickly so that more people can be treated. When people choose private
healthcare
 services it can help to reduce the burden on the public system, and
as a result
 can
also
 help to reduce the amount of money required by the government for funding.
In addition
 to
this
, those who choose to pay for private
healthcare
 services will experience many benefits,
such
 as the quality and speed of treatments, short waiting times for appointments and operations, and more private and comfortable facilities.
However
, while there are a number of benefits to private
h
ealthcare,
Suggestion
health care
 there are
also
 a number of drawbacks.
To begin
 with, private
healthcare
 insurance is very c
ostly and
Accept comma addition
costly, and
many people simply cannot afford it.
In addition
, private
healthcare
 insurance is usually paid on a monthly basis, whether you use the system or not, and
therefore
 many people pay thousands of dollars each year for private
healthcare
 but never need to use the facilities or services. Private
healthcare
 can makes
further
 the gap between the rich and the poor.
Furthermore
, some people
also
 argue that private
healthcare
 services create inequality between citizens of a nation as only the wealthy can afford the best and quickest treatment available. In conclusion, I believe that as long as governments do their best to provide a good standard of
h
ealthcare
Suggestion
health care
facilities and services for the general public,
then
 private
healthcare
 services can
also
 exist and provide many advantages that will outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by hothienngaclc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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