Many students take part time jobs whilst studying in university. Is it a good idea or bad idea?

These days, the overwhelming majority of juniors

works

Suggestion

work

are working

during their tertiary education. I personally feel

that is

Linking Words

positive trend

Suggestion

a positive trend

among young generation.

Hence

Linking Words

, I will explain my viewpoints through examples.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, on of the beneficial side having a

job

Use synonyms

during studies a person

introduce

Suggestion

introduces

with

adult world

Suggestion

an adult world

the adult world

Accept space

this

Linking Words

probably teach

Suggestion

probably teaches

individual certain skill

Suggestion

individual certain skills

the individual certain skill

For instance

Linking Words

, working in a customer

sevice

work done by one person or group that benefits another

service

field, young people might become more accurate in conversations and learn how handle with the problematic visitors without arguing.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a student

migh

expresses possibility

might

may

be independent from parents, due to they will have

regular salary

Suggestion

a regular salary

. While, spending the money they could learn how to use it properly.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are many people who are doing part time jobs with their studies become more punctual and complete their task beyond the deadlines.

This

Linking Words

type of characteristics not only welcomed by many of the employers, but

also

Linking Words

give the opportunity to employees to start their career after the completion of their graduation which offers high incentives. Step by step they will

involved

Suggestion

involve

in real life and develop into

resposible adult

Suggestion

responsible adults

responsible adult

a responsible adult

.Another valuable side is personal growth, working in a team boost confidence in a person and enhance communication skills with the others.

Finally

Linking Words

, who takes a part-time

job

Use synonyms

will be successful in

internship

Suggestion

an internship

the internship

by profession, because they already have had

job

Use synonyms

experience. To conclude, it is useful

expirience

the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities

experience

which

improves

Suggestion

will improve

their

perfomance

a dramatic or musical entertainment

performance

performances

in the future.

Also

Linking Words

, part time

job

Use synonyms

during university education gives an opportunity to grow into rounded person and earn some income to bear the burden in private life

sula_.97

May 3, 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

257 words

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Many students take part time jobs whilst studying in university. Is it a good idea or bad idea?

One of your friends recently had a birthday celebration, but you missed it and, you forgot to tell your friend that you couldnt attend.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Internet contains a lot of information, however, sometimes this information is inaccurate or wrong. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In companies’ promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company, not to someone from outside or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?