Many students take part time jobs whilst studying in university. Is it a good idea or bad idea?

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These days, the overwhelming majority of juniors 
works
Suggestion
work
are working
during their tertiary education. I personally feel
that is
Linking Words
positive trend
Suggestion
a positive trend
among young generation.
Hence
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, I will explain my viewpoints through examples.    
First
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and foremost, on of the beneficial side having a
job
Use synonyms
 during studies a person
introduce
Suggestion
introduces
with
adult world
Suggestion
an adult world
the adult world
,
Accept space
,
this
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probably teach
Suggestion
probably teaches
 
individual certain skill
Suggestion
individual certain skills
the individual certain skill
For instance
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, working in a customer
sevice
work done by one person or group that benefits another
service
 field, young people might become more accurate in conversations and learn how handle with the problematic visitors without arguing.
Secondly
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, a student
migh
expresses possibility
might
may
be independent from parents, due to they will have
regular salary
Suggestion
a regular salary
. While, spending the money they could learn how to use it properly.  
Moreover
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, there are many people who are doing part time jobs with their studies become more punctual and complete their task beyond the deadlines.
This
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type of characteristics not only welcomed by many of the employers, but
also
Linking Words
give the opportunity to employees to start their career after the completion of their graduation which offers high incentives. Step by step they will
involved
Suggestion
involve
in real life and develop into
resposible adult
Suggestion
responsible adults
responsible adult
a responsible adult
.Another valuable side is personal growth, working in a team boost confidence in a person and enhance communication skills with the others.
Finally
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, who takes a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 will be successful in
internship
Suggestion
an internship
the internship
by profession, because they already have had
job
Use synonyms
 experience.    To conclude, it is useful
expirience
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experience
 which
improves
Suggestion
will improve
their
perfomance
a dramatic or musical entertainment
performance
performances
in the future.
Also
Linking Words
, part time
job
Use synonyms
during university education gives an opportunity to grow into rounded person and earn some income to bear the burden in private life
Submitted by sula_.97 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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