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Band 7

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
Technology has improved by many-folds in the recent years, especially the internet.
Although
 the web brings numerous benefits to everyone, there are several issues associated with the data,
such
 as
information
 control and data protection.
This
 essay strongly agrees that disadvantages clearly overshadow the advantages.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will discuss the how companies maintain monopoly over the peoples' data, and
secondly
 will look at how website breaches are affecting the data
security
.
To begin
 with, the majority of the social media websites, which are used by millions of people, are owned by the tech giants, and
as a result
, these organization own personal
information
 of millions of its users.
Moreover
,
this
information
 is used and distributed in many ways,
such
 as targeted advertising, and the consumers have no control over it whatsoever as they have already signed the user agreement.
For example
, a recent study by an
Information
Security
 Corporation, McAfee, reported that Facebook has sold its user data to several companies to generate millions in ad revenue.
Furthermore
, in recent years, there are more
security
 breaches across the globe than ever before, and it increases the
information
security
 requirement to the maximum. These social media companies control all the user data and even a single breach can create social
security
 threats.
Moreover
, the data collected from these websites contain peoples' personal and financial
information
, and are often circulated in the dark web for monetary benefits.
Consequently
, once leaked,
this
 data can wreak a havoc in normal peoples' lives.
For example
, it was reported in the Times Now that the suicide rate has been increased by 3% in the past 5 years due to
information
 breach. In conclusion, while the internet provides limitless access to unlimited
information
, I think that it
also
 poses several threats because the data is managed by big corporations, and
information
 breach is creating adverse effects on peoples' privacy and lives, which clearly outweigh the pros.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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