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Band 5

Q. The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
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Owing to the problems which are caused by the increasing number of overweight people on the
health
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 care system, some people believe that the key to solving these issues is to launch more courses in schools related to sports and
exercise
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. I completely agree with the statement mentioned
above as
Accept comma addition
above, as
this
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 is the best way to tackle the problems of stress and strain amongst the public gaining much weight.
To begin
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 with, the most important factor to resolve the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is by taking
actions
Suggestion
action
 in accordance with introducing
more
Suggestion
the more sport
sport
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 and
exercise
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 lessons in schools.
In other words
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, if more physical education courses are introduced in schools, it would prove to be a great help for students in terms of
health
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 and fitness, including the problem of weight.
Also
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,
this
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 technique will ensure that the
next
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 generation is healthier and not supposed to indulge in
such
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 problems.
For example
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, today, almost every good school in the region has been implementing a new curriculum for students, wherein
sport
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 and
exercise
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 classes is focused and practiced by staff along with the students.
As a result
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,
this
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 method of exercising has brought a great impact on the lifestyle of people. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for children in schools will gradually result in students developing an interest in
exercise
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, which in return make them active and attentive while studying. Having said that, students get along quite well with
studies
Suggestion
the studies
 and healthier lifestyle hand in hand by inculcating the sense of activeness and fresh
mindedness
Suggestion
. Eventually,
this
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 method of
learning physical
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learning, physical
 education will ensure that children grow up to incorporate
sport
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 in their daily lives, which is certainly a natural and lasting way in order to improve public
health
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. In conclusion, I agree that the
health
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 problems related to
increasing number
Suggestion
the increasing number
an increasing number
 of overweight and unfit people
actually demands
Suggestion
actually demand
 the introduction of
sport
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 and
exercise
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 classes in schools for children, which ultimately helps in improving the lifestyle of
coming generation
Suggestion
the coming generation
coming generations
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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