Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time

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Some people think that less

leisure

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time

Use synonyms

and more

money

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Suggestion

are

an essential for everyone, but others believed that

leisure

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time

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plays

vital role

Suggestion

a vital role

in modern society rather than huge income.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

although

Linking Words

, earning more

money

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is a dream of every person in the whole world, but

none

Suggestion

no-one

consider

Suggestion

considers

about

leisure

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time

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, even though it is essential for everyone.

Firstly

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, life is more stress free with having

huge amount

Suggestion

a huge amount

money

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. Anything can be purchased with it.

Such

Linking Words

as, clothes, shoes and any electric things,

etcetra

Suggestion

Furthermore

Linking Words

, people can provide more luxurious and comfortable lifestyle

Suggestion

for

their loved ones or family with earning more

money

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, but they sacrifice their hobbies for better livelihood.

Secondly

Linking Words

, education and health facilities can be given to their families.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

money

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is important for good

living but

Accept comma addition

living, but

spending

leisure

Use synonyms

time

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also

Linking Words

plays

Suggestion

vital role in the modern society.

Firstly

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this

Linking Words

time

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is a very important because it cannot be purchased from anywhere again. People can live stress free and healthy with spending

leisure

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time

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or doing activities.

Secondly

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, individuals can spend quality

time

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with their loved ones. Many people spend their whole life for earning and they feel regret later in their life that they could spend

leisure

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time

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with their family.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Accept space

less

time

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for family, which is critical to handle when it comes to the personal relations or family level. To sum up, these both things are essential for human,

therefore

Linking Words

people ought to give attention equally on both issues.

Mon May 04 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
facilitating
lifestyle
professional development
increased stress
work-life balance
hobbies
quality time
physical and mental health
financial constraints
luxury items
overall well-being
personal growth
middle ground
sacrificing

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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

To conclude, having too many toys will help the children to grow faster but it will have drawbacks which need to be antisipated.

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?