IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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As the world evolves, so does the way we
work
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. Compared to traditional
work
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 practices, modern
work
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 culture has changed significantly. I strongly believe
the
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that
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employees
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 should have fewer working days and longer weekends to improve their
overall
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 well-being, productivity, and family life.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 perspective with relevant examples from my knowledge and experience.
Firstly
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, in traditional
work
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 structures,
employees
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 followed a rigid Monday-to-Saturday schedule, often leaving little time for family interactions. During those times, grandparents played a crucial role in raising children, as
parents
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 were occupied with
work
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.
However
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, in today’s nuclear family setup,
parents
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 have fewer support systems. A shorter
workweek
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 would allow
parents
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 to spend more quality time with their children, fostering stronger emotional bonds and ensuring a well-rounded upbringing. Studies have shown that children who receive more parental attention in their early years tend to develop better social and emotional skills.
Secondly
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, evolving technology and economic demands have led to a
raise
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rise
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 in dual-income households, where both
parents
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work
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 to sustain financial stability. In many cases,
employees
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work
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 for multiple organizations remotely or engage in freelance
work
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. A shorter
workweek
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 would help
employees
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 balance their professional and personal lives more effectively, reducing stress and burnout. Many companies that have implemented a four-day
workweek
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 have reported increased productivity, employee satisfaction, and
overall
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 well-being. In conclusion, reducing the number of working days and extending the weekend would significantly benefit
employees
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 and their families. It would allow for better
work
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-life balance, improved mental health, and stronger family relationships. Given these advantages, I strongly support the idea of a shorter
workweek
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 as a step toward
healthier
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a healthier
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 and more productive society.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument in favor of a shorter working week, leading to a complete response to the task. However, you could enhance your ideas by addressing potential counterarguments or challenges to your position, which would showcase a more balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. To improve even further, consider using more varied linking phrases to connect your ideas seamlessly within paragraphs, enhancing the flow of coherence.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which is commendable. Nonetheless, including a specific example of a company or a case study demonstrating the impacts of a shorter workweek would have strengthened your arguments further and made them more relatable.
strength
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay effectively, outlining the main argument succinctly.
strength
Your use of diverse vocabulary and sentence structures contributes to the overall readability and engagement of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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