IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
In the sophisticated era, crimes are increasing more and more. In
order
 to create safe and sustainable ambiance, people who committee low level of crimes should be made to do unpaid work in spite putting them behind that bar. I am personally inclined to partially agree with
this
 statement and shed light on the reasons behind it in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with, offenders who committee low level of crimes
such
 as, breaking laws, they should be assigned for community works in the society
such
 as cleaning streets, planting trees and charity work. Because of it, they may be engaged themselves in unpaid activities for the betterment of the society.
As a result
,
this
 trend may help to mitigate environmental issues. So, charitable works should be done by the lawbreakers in
order
 to improve the ambiance of the society and give them a chance of learning.
Hence
, criminals with low level of illegal activities must be assigned to community services.
However
, people who committed serious Crimes
such
 as murder, rape, smuggling and so on should put them behind the bars, in
order
 to set an example for others. Due to it, the crime rate may decrease. They may have fears of punishment in their mind and they may think many times before committing any crime.
In addition
, it is the best way which may help them to realize their crime.
Thus
, in
order
 to set an example, offenders should be sent into the jails. To recapitulate,
although
 by sending criminals into the jails is the most effective way and it has many merits, but the cons of assigning people for charity work should not be overestimated.
Submitted by poojamanjindersingh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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