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Band 4.5

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
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In many countries the discussion about the rising financial problems of young people has been getting more emphasis.
Tough
Suggestion
Though
 some people are voting to integrate financial education as a
schooling
Suggestion
school
 subject. The key problem for many young people is that they don’t know how to use and spend
money
Use synonyms
 in the right way. The “get what you want mentality” is widely advertised by the mass media and it looks like some people think that living with interest fees is normal. Though financial problems in young life are very common with the result that it is difficult to learn how to spend
money
Use synonyms
 appropriated. The main idea of teaching a financial subject must be to explain about a balanced budget and that debt
could ruins
Suggestion
could ruin
 one’s future. But
this
Linking Words
 is just one side that has to be considered. For me, the main question is why the parents cannot give the right advice to their kids? To leave
such
Linking Words
 a personal subject in the hands of government and school means to ignore a key task of any parent: to be a good role model.
Linking Words
Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
 should be considerate that the social effects of talking about
money
Use synonyms
 and finance in a socially diverse school class can be harmful
for
Suggestion
to
 some students. In my
opinion it
Accept comma addition
opinion, it
 is more important to teach parents about their responsibilities as a role model and have them educate the children about
this
Linking Words
 private topic in a safe and private environment. All in all I think the main task of public institutions should be to educate about common subjects and not to give
such
Linking Words
 personal advice like the use of
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 1vigneshram on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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