IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people are of the opinion that we must discontinue using fossil fuels and adopt renewable sources of energy. Yet others feel that renewable sources of energy are not as dependable as fossil fuels. Discuss both views.

#people #fuels #sources #energy
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A number of
people
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 that we should not continue using nonrenewable
sources
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 of
energy
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 and acquire sustainable
sources
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 of
energy
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.
People
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 have another option of thinking which is that renewable
sources
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 of
energy
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 are not reliable as as fossil
fuels
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. On the one hand,
people
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 believe that we should use renewable
sources
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 of
energy
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.
This
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 type of
energy
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 has a
lot
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 of quality impact on
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 environment
such
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 as decreasing the level of air pollution.
For instance
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,
plenty
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 of vehicles work with oil which increases the chance of a carbon footprint which will have a
lot
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 of drawbacks for our environment
such
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 as pollution. Another reason, sustainable
resources
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 are more available for
plenty
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 of
people
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. Because
plenty
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 of types of renewable
resources
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 are accessible in a
lot
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 of places
such
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 as houses.
For example
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,
people
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 can charge their Tesla in their own home.
However
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, sustainable
resources
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 have some drawbacks too. They are pretty expensive at present, but it is predicted that they will be cheaper in future.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 believe that sustainable
resources
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 are not dependable as as fossil
fuels
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.
Plenty
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 of
people
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 do not trust modern technology and
people
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 believe that it should not change the cause of problems with technology. As an example,
plenty
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 of
people
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 do not know a
lot
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 about renewable
energy
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 and they tend to think that it is disadvantageous to replace it.
However
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, our technology innovations grow quickly and give us an opportunity to use renewable
resources
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. In conclusion, both points of view have some drawbacks, but renewable must be used in our generation
,
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apply
show examples
 because it has more beneficial parts than fossil
fuels
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.Some
people
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 are of the opinion that we must discontinue using fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 and adopt renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
. Yet others feel that renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 are not as dependable as fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
. Discuss both views.
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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clarification
Try to refine your ideas to make them clearer and more structured. For instance, instead of broad points, pick specific angles to explore both the advantages and drawbacks of renewable energy and fossil fuels.
cohesion improvement
For improved coherence, work on slightly better transitions between sentences and connect the ideas more fluidly. This helps the reader follow your line of thought more seamlessly.
support improvement
Use more detailed examples and evidence to support your points. This will bolster your arguments and make them more persuasive.
structure
The essay correctly includes both an introduction and a conclusion, clearly addressing the task requirements.
task coverage
You present a balanced discussion of both views, acknowledging valid points from each side.
example usage
You effectively use some examples to make your points, such as the use of electric vehicles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fossil fuels
  • Renewable energy
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Intermittent energy supply
  • Energy storage
  • Infrastructure
  • Climate change mitigation
  • Depletion of natural resources
  • Energy efficiency
  • Technological advancements
  • Cleaner alternative
  • Energy supply stability
  • Investment in infrastructure
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