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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000 and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000 and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The 1st
bar
Use synonyms
 chart illustrates the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
marriages
Use synonyms
 and the percentage of divorce in the year 1970 to 2000. The 2nd
bar
Use synonyms
 sketch demonstrates the marital status of adults in the years 1970 and 2000.
According to
Linking Words
 the first
bar
Use synonyms
 chart, there was a downward trend in the number of
marriages
Use synonyms
 and rates of divorces. The highest separation percentage and most numbers of
marriages
Use synonyms
 have shown respectively at about 1.4 million and 2.5 million in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, the highest figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
marriages
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 shown in 1970 and after that, it decreases over the period. The lowest amount of
marriages
Use synonyms
 has shown at about 2 million in the year 2000
while
Linking Words
 the separation ratio is decreasing
this
Linking Words
 year. On the flip side,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the 2nd
bar
Use synonyms
 graph is divided into 4 distinct categories – never categories, married, widowed and divorced in between 1970 and 2000. The marital status of adult Americans in 1970 is that 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of an adult is married
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
remains the greatest of all groups.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the amount of
marriage
Fix the agreement mistake
marriages
show examples
 decreases
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 about 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of widowed
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 as compared to 2000. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 unmarried adults is 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1970
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it goes up in 2000
while
Linking Words
 the separation percentage is increasing in 2000 as compared to 1970.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bar, marriages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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